August 17, 2013
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I’m feeling terribly insecure tonight. It’s overwhelming me. It has been a while since I’ve felt like this…
I completed and tested out of the first 16 weeks of workshop training for school. I start taking paying clients on Monday, Tuesday is booked and I’ve stirred a lot of interest.
I should be excited… celebrating… feeling accomplished and ready for life!
But tonight I just feel deflated. There are so many wonderful people around me, cheering me on, lifting me up… but tonight… tonight it would take an army to get to me to see anything but my flaws. God I hope this feeling subsides by the morning. I really don’t want to have too ‘pull it together’ all day. Johnny will be out tomorrow with his friend, so I need to put my big girl panties on and make the day special for my boys!
I want to be that girl who knows who she is
she looks in the mirror, unshakable… and says with a grin
“I’m beautiful, in every aspect, I’m strong and sure”
but today that girl is just a hope
she got lost somewhere between the perfect figure on the internet
and the dazzling personality of a friend
comparing… the game that leaves us lost
searching to be something that doesn’t fit who we are
I know this
I’ve gained the wisdom to see
but, again, somewhere I got mixed up between what ‘they’ are and what I’d like to be.
Comments (7)
What about “I’m not beautiful in every way, but my God, my family, my friends, and my church love me anyway?”
I’m sorry you’re feeling insecure.
I was feeling insecure over the weekend too. I hope you feel better soon! <3
but you know i love you, right?
*hugs*
ENFP my dear! Did you know that NF temperaments suffer the most from poor self-image? If a person from each temperament type were asked which was the hardest temperament type for them to understand they’d all say “NF”, and they’d be right. We NF’s have a hard time understanding ourselves. We are intense people, and when we turn that intensity on ourselves it can be really harsh. We are the best cheerleaders in the world, and when we talk about the greatness we see in others, we mean it with our whole hearts! But when we turn that same quality against ourselves we tend to believe the negative about ourselves wholeheartedly. Part of our problem is we have no concrete way of measuring or weighing what we are good at. Where are the metrics which measure the actor, writer, counsellor? A mathematician can easily prove that 1+1= 2. An engineer or scientist has many kinds of metrics to tell them they are on the right track. But for iNtuitive Feelers; NF’s how do we measure our worth? Mostly through the eyes of others, and if most others don’t understand us, then we often end up with a lifelong screwed up view of ourselves. So what are to do???!!!What I love about God is that whatever we are he takes and puts all we are on Jesus hanging on that old rugged cross. Yes, God takes even our value, however small or great that is and places that on Jesus. Then God takes all of the priceless worth, perfection, and beauty of Christ and places it upon us. I won’t tell you that thinking about God placing the pricelessness of Christ upon me, always makes me feel better. But I can say that the longer I think about God’s gift the better I feel, and the freer I feel. I am most thankful to God that he doesn’t simply leave me to my actual worth. He raises my worth to a level no human being could ever aspire to reach. And God’s valuation of me is something even I can’t empty of worth! Summer, dear little sister, God isn’t looking at your worth or worthlessness. God has simply given you the gift of pricelessness. ”Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” Romans 8:1
There are always some down days, but just keep the chin up.No one can alwyas have up-days, every day, for the rest of their life.
I will be proud for you!