January 8, 2013
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I can assure you of nothing other than I’m good where I am.
It’s time for me to get back to the grind. Time to focus in and get some of these questions answered as well as some open ended things I was studying but put to the side for a bit.
@jmallory has got me in deep thought with his recent blog about authority in the church. I think it was originally my question, it has just been a while since I thought about it myself.
Anyhow. I’m on a mission to finally finish ‘Reimaging the Church’. After reading Pagan Christianity it seems I’ve just undone all I know, swam around in the sea of questions and its about time for some clarity on the vision of the Body of Christ.
I am remembering what it felt like a little more than a year ago… before the shift in my theology. I had so many answers, I was so sure, so steadfast… there was nothing that could shake my faith, my theology, doctrine or denominational allegiance. I’ve always been inquisitive and somewhere along the way I reached the end of the answers I was looking for in my denomination. It wasn’t all at once, but seemed to be… things just weren’t lining up for me anymore. Biblically, I could not defend some of the things I had once sworn by and taught as truth myself.
Well, I no longer have all the answers, I stopped feeling like my direct line to perfect truth was in tact and started actually carrying on as a human being, flawed and in need. Humility is what I like to call it. At first this place was terrifying. I had lost all that was secure and for sure, except my Christ… my Salvation. I remember mourning the loss of what once was, and even still do from time to time, but internally… so much has changed that is so good I never ever want to go back.
While all that I believe is very vague here (as if I could actually write it all?)… it’s safe to say I’m very secure in my questions… in this season. I’m at a unique place and I’m sucking out all the good I possibly can as I continue to prepare my heart for revolution… big changes and possibly reformation larger than I can even see right now.
As a believer, you might be reading this and think I’ve lost my mind… lost my way. I can assure you I haven’t lost either. I’ve always known that my calling was going to be challenging, lonely even…
This is where I always remember Joan of Arc – “I am not afraid, I was born for this.” – this will be part of a tattoo at some point in my life since its been in my heart since I was very young =]
Comments (11)
A few expressions – a wise man always has more questions than answers. To find new lands one must consent to lose sight of the shore for a long time. And one of my all time favorites: not all who wander are lost.
@agnophilo - ooo… I freaking love these!!!!!!! thanks!
@xXrEMmUsXx - As do I : ) And welcs.
Life’s more about the questions than the answers. That’s something I try to remind myself of daily.
I’m working on my first post about leadership/authority in the Church. I’m dealing with some trying health issues, and it’s slowing me down, but I’m working on it.
@Such_are_you - Sorry to hear about your health issues, but I’m really looking forward to your post!
I have no need of human authority. Jesus is the only authority I want to listen to, and I will listen to anyone if they speak by means of the Spirit. I’m never going to do anything significant just because a person said to.
Also, people seem to have a need to set up a hierarchy that gives fewer men more and more control. Most people aren’t aware of Christianity outside of the west, but there are groups elsewhere. The hierarchy system has been set up in all of them and is modeled after the governments of the world. I don’t think we need any extra-local leadership or some governing body making sure everybody believes the same stuff. The goal should be Christ, not conformity.
I’m tired of systems. Every Christian group seems to have their system, and if you don’t have a place in the system, you have almost no hope of changing it. You either get with the system, or you get out.
I read Pagan Christian and Reimagining Church a few years ago. They were good, but I haven’t found any kind of organic group that’s functional.
@Rejected_Stone - YES, a breath of fresh air =] thanks for your response.
1 Samuel 8:
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But when they said, “Give us a king to lead us,” this displeased Samuel; so he prayed to the Lord.
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And the Lord told him: “Listen to all that the people are saying to you; it is not you they have rejected, but they have rejected me as their king.
The whole system makes me think of this… of when Israel asked for a king.
I’ve been looking for organic myself… I can’t find anything either. I suppose it could just happen as there are a lot of my friends who want organic too. I think we are just scared to officially try it out that way… you know? Still plugged into the system. Well, I’m not…
Wow, love that Joan of Arc quote. I love the Joan of Arc story. Mark Twain was intrigued by her story and went to France, got access to the original documents and wrote her story (his last completed novel)…very readable (as Mark Twain can do) and just an amazingly compelling story. You probably know this, but as thanks for what Joan of Arc did the King forgave taxes to her hometown in perpetuity. And no one who lived in that town paid federal taxes for 400 years…from 1429 until around 1800.
Anyway, nice post. I’m super excited about this new church plant I’ve been involved…and hope to be a part of a leadership team that offers a redeemed sense of church community. I’m humbled by the prospect…as I’ve had lots of ideas (and honestly bitterness) based on past experience. You can check out a front page article on Christmas day in the Boston Globe. I was quoted in it :-p
@xXrEMmUsXx - These days I function with the knowledge that even the church-goer types are God’s people. Jesus was willing to go to the religious buildings and institutions of his day, so I am willing to do the same when God leads me to do so. He has led me to do it quite a few times recently. I am not committed to any church, and I consider myself a visitor and not a member.
@Rejected_Stone - yeah, my husband and I have been taking the boys to a local church. I help there when I can and like the way they get involved in the community… but we are not members and I don’t care to be.