August 4, 2013

• beside myself

  I’m feeling drained. The last couple of days I have been particularly negative. My husband has pointed out a few times that I’m complaining a lot.

  I’m just tired. School is getting boring. Running is back on track, but the pressure of losing 4 weeks of marathon training due to an injury really got me down. It’s only been a week since I started back up and the Chicago Marathon is just just 10 weeks away and I have yet to break passed 13.1 miles… I’m not even back up to a 10 mile run since my foot healed. 

  When this ENFP is stressed out, I’m pretty useless. Somehow I’m managing to get to school and drink enough coffee in class to stay awake.

  I’m missing friends. I’m missing social interactions, community… I’m feeling secluded and needy, but resistant to people at the same time.

  This is one of those ‘beside myself’ moments where I can’t quite pull it together. I’m not my best me right now.

   

  I just want my bubbly, happy… eager disposition back please. 

   

  I was so ‘in love’ with my husband this week. He’s just so adorable. But I have to stay away from him for a while in order to appreciate him again. It’s weird. but when he’s stressed he’s mean. When I’m stressed, he gets stressed and gets mean. So… we either both have to be content in life, or he’s not happy. I generally pull him out of those rough places, but sometimes I feel like he just lets me drown here until I finally lose it.

  It sucks too, because this isn’t even a hormonal issue. 

  I just need something… and I don’t know what it is….

  • 12:20 am
  • 6 Comments