April 19, 2013
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Marathon of Marriage
Ha, so… remember how I totally wasn’t into the counseling and the dude made me feel all awkward and shh’ed me from the beginning? Well, I’m pretty sure he has one of those really awesome intuitive wives because they actually addressed it this week and I was able to share how I felt and be open and honest about everything. Refreshing. He started with… “We picked up on some things and just wanted to know what the car ride home was like after counseling last week?” Johnny instantly looked at me all wide-eyed like “I’m not telling them anything you said!” LOL. So after he fumbled over his words and made up some generic fake conversation that never happened, I just said what I was thinking and how I felt and… man did I feel better. I simply said, “I’m nervous about what you interpret to be biblical truth for the family structure and what we interpret it to be… and while we need the counseling I’m afraid that our idea of God’s will might be different from yours.” They responded by saying that even though they were certified through a specific organization, they understand that every couple needs something special and specific and they in no way want us to feel like they are pushing a program on us or anything like that. They recognized that and wanted us to be comfortable and open.
So… counseling last night was SO MUCH BETTER. Made a pretty significant breakthrough too…
When I shared the lack of support and desire from Johnny to do things as a couple… and his rejection of me in the music department. It came down to him just saying “I was immature.” And for some reason, that was enough. I was able to just look at him and say… wow, we were just 19 years old… and ‘figuring’ things out. i guess that is a valid reason and my confusion just kind of started to melt. Especially in light of all the things he shared about me that he loves. And in light of all of the support he is giving me to run and go to school. I feel blessed.
You know, we’ve been through a few traumatic experiences together… and life sometimes just moves faster than you’re ability to comprehend and understand what is going on. I need to give that to Johnny. He is trying so hard. He is focused, and never once has he ever given up through this entire year of my mixed emotions and painful outbursts. He’s been hurting himself but remained patient, loyal… and gentle with me. I have a treasure and my heart is safe with him.
I have a sense of relief right now. My running shoes aren’t laced to escape now… just to train for this marathon of life I’m signed up for =]
Thank you for the warm thoughts, the prayers… the words of wisdom the empathy.
I love you guys <3
LOVE FEARLESSLY!!!
(I think I will do another blog with the things we shared that we loved about each other.)
Comments (7)
Love love love this! I am so incredibly happy you were able to address your concerns and issues with your counselors and they listened! I was really worried after you talked about how your first session went and how the man made you pretty upset by shh’ing you.
Honestly, this made my morning. I am so happy to know you are in a better place and it’s great to see you hopeful about the future!
Nice to hear things went so well! Yes! Life is a marathon at times – but running can be BOTH fun and exhausting!
Happy for you. Wishing you a very nice weekend. Marathon is the right word.
frank
That’s great to hear!
I’m so glad to hear that!!!
*HUGS!*
<3, ~*Akarui Mitsukai*~
@akarui_mitsukai - Thanks for reading… connecting and responding! Thanks for the FB like too =] wooo hooo!!!
My husband was against it too… he kind of came around… tonight though, he was there but not engaged. it was kind of awful when we left. I hope this week gets better because I don’t know if I can handle it falling apart with school starting on Monday.